[20 Apr 2005|05:54pm] hey, I have a new livejournal add the account " fuckn" post comment

[20 Apr 2005|03:48pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Annihilation of The Nation ] Walgreens called me today. They want me to come in tomorrow at 10:00AM for an interview. Steller.. ^_^ post comment

the game is so fun! [20 Apr 2005|12:45am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | No Cash ] played kickball today with pretty much everyone, it was sooo fuckin fun. We should do it more often. I enjoyed seeing everyone get along so well and having fun. 4 comments|post comment

oh man, to the drifters. [19 Apr 2005|02:44am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Defiance, Ohio ] I want to dance with you in the rain, be kissed under a mistletoe, and nearly fall asleep watching the sunrise/sunset. I want to map out the stars with you on the beach. That would be so cute. ( check off survey i stole from dan ) post comment

you said you hate my sufferin' [16 Apr 2005|02:22am] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | haligh haligh ] Can't take it anymore... post comment

man bitches can suck a dick(not mine) [10 Apr 2005|07:28pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | the blood brothers ] Today i realized something. I was sitting at the train station and these girls were walking by(now this wasnt just today its usualy like this since i have been with roberta) so anyways i saw them out the corner of my eye, so i looked the opposite way that they were. that way i wouldnt have to look at them, as they were walking almost infront of me i looked up and then around. Ive found myself making all contact with other girls a negatory. I figure why bother if i have everything i really care for or look for in a girl at my side..(metaphorically, shes not here right now..which kind of sucks because i wont see her for a few more days) it's weird, when i see other females i act like one of those snooty assholes who stick there nose in the air when they see you like they're saying "You sir, are a waste of time". no one can compare to RC NOPE! not in a million years. and then a million more...then a million more, and more. another million more and then some...lets just say "until life ceases to exhist" 1 comment|post comment

[08 Apr 2005|03:55pm] DAMNIT! =/ I wanted to see Roberta before she went to lake worth with matt and lisa but they didnt have enough time to stop by.I called to ask her if she was still coming and when i found out they were already on their way there my voice got shakey, i felt like i was going to cry. I wanted to see her ='( 4 comments|post comment

You ask what i think about at night, well these are the thoughts... [08 Apr 2005|12:27am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | The Postal service - such great heights ] So yeah, I can't sleep again! Constantly thinking about Roberta. Afraid of what she might think...every night Whether its when we hang up on the phone or when I leave her house i get scared or excited and then i end up laying in my bed and thinking about her alllll night. I don't know what I would do without her ='( Probably sit around poutingx400 with frequent visits to Lauras "house of trips". and then the constant begging for the next plane ticket to PA my mom offers. as well as a snarl disgust for every relationship i saw or emocentric prick bragging about how great his girlfriend is or vice versa. It's kind of amazing really how distasteful i was about relationships. or someone who liked another and then out of nowhere Kayla said "awwww RIGEL! You should meet Roberta you might like her" and BAMMM! here I am being "one of those emocentric" kids, the kind someone of my old stature would enjoy kicking the shit out of or watching fall flat on their ass at the end of it all. But i like it. I like being able to have someone i can call(when she isnt working)when im down, someone i can go to when im really happy about something great or just someone to be around when the world feels like its stopped spinning. hah there was that one time the world spun to fast and i found myself downtown puking my brains out...and she was still there =') I complain, over anylitical, negative as fuck, crappy self esteem, no job, no money, no education, no car....I really have nothing and she still sticks around my lame, dumbass. I could keep going on and on, but i wont because if she IS reading this i dont want her to realize i have no possible future and break up with me >_< well im trying to get a job...actually next week im re-applying to walgreens and i have to take this SAT thing online and a few coarses and i wil have my diploma. All honesty i dont care how i will end up...i dont care what my mom thinks or the rest of my family the only reason i want to get all this done is because i know roberta really would like it if i did i dont know if its because shes tired of dealing with my broke ass or if its because she wants to see me succeed, but it makes me happy =) although it took her 1..2..3..4...weeks? to finish sewing 5 minutes of pocket on my pants ^_^ I really do love her. Idont know the extent to that word beyond what i know it as. so i can say i love her. to others its a sign of assurance or dont be mad "i love you" but i truely do love her. I've tried to be mad at her but the split second i see her smile or hear "hey!" or even "is cool dude" i cant help but blush. she is so wonderful sooo fuckign amazing totally cool!...totally fucking coooool! she makes me laugh and smile. and i remember the first night her and i fell asleep together on her bed facing one another, she woke me up with a kiss on my cheeck. the thought if it makes my eyes water. I just love the feeling when we lay in her bed and hold one another close until we either A) fall asleep or B) hands start to wander. a lot of the time i want to die though knowing i cant see her for days on end, or even when i think shes got beef with me. totally rips me apart, total hair puller.ive been scratching my head during this entire fucking post, think im bleed. I need to dust my room I could tell her I love her a thousand times a day and i would mean it every time. But i dont want that sentence to wear out its meaning, especially if once says it all and she knows i mean it. 1 comment|post comment

some funny-annoying shit [23 Mar 2005|05:22am] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Defiance, Ohio ] I found a mini shopping cart from TJ-Maxx outside my house by the road. So I brought it inside and started cleaning it in my shower with the intention to turn it into a moving clothes hamper. Well if you could give some imagination, I'm standing in the shower in my boxers wearing my brothers scuba set with the shower on scrubbing away at this thing and my mom walked past, stops then walks backwards. "What..are you doing?" *pulls snorkal out of mouth, and turns off shower* "working on a project" -"uhhh...a wha?" Then I repeated "A PROJECT" *puts snorkal back in mouth and turns the shower on* So I continued cleaning it off for another two hours. By that time my skin felt and looked like a 60 year old mans who just gotten out of the pool. This time she came all the way in the bathroom and stood there. I'm not sure how long she was standing there until I looked over and wiped the condensation from the scuba mask and said "can I help you?" -"no no NO! You're not keeping that, get rid of it. That's private property Rigel" -"You're right and if you touch it, im going to sue you. It STAYS!" So we got into a tug'o war over the shoping cart until I slipped on one of the flippers. I jumped up then ran towards my mom spinning in circles, Mind you im still wearing the scuba gear "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, let me keep itttt ahhhhHHHH..." SO I did what anyone in that situation would've done. I grabbed the shower hose and sprayed her with it until she ran out of the bathroom. And man was she pissed. Aparently I have to take it back to the store tomorrow. so I said "HEY! what if I went to the store...talked to a manager and ASKED if I could keep it for some artsy idea." and she said "I dont think turning it into a clothes basket is very artistic." But what does she know...IM THE ARTIST. So she told me that if I actually had the balls to go in the store with a hand written contract saying that tj-maxx has handed it over to me I can keep it. So, that is exactly what im going to do. Try and stop me. THE MAN AINT KEEPIN ME DOWN! So later on I took a shower inside of the shopping cart. Actually I kind of sat in it cleaning myself. I felt like pasta in a strainer but I never took the scuba gear off. I tried standing up in it to catch a wave, but I just felt like an idiot standing in a shopping cart in the rain. And i'm probably going to sit in it and watch TV tomorrow eating a burrito or somethin. 1 comment|post comment

[22 Feb 2005|06:13pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | Padriac My Prince ] I was on my way back from the job corps orientation today and heading towards Georges music at the mall. I was listening to Bright eyes of course and Padriac My Prince came on. It was really quiet in the car no one was talking besides myself, who was singing along. I dont remember what happened but it got really emotional in the car and my mom started crying. I looked over at her and she was whiping tears from her eyes..she had that heavy sniff. I cant listen to the song anymore without feeling like I want to cry. She really likes Conor I guess...shes afraid to listen to him now, she says hes reallly depressing so I think I damaged her love for him..She didnt let me listen to it the entire ride home. which I didnt mind. But now that ive thought about it im sad... ( Lyrics ) post comment

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